1. Standing on an upturned plug.
    2. Crumbs in the bed.
    3. Going to eat the second half of your Twix and realising you already have.
    4. Dropping the handle of your cutlery in your food.
    5. Accidental Insta-stalk liking.
    6. Settling in for a Netflix marathon and only having one episode left.
    7. Having flat hair in every photo from a night out.
    8. Kale.

  1. Gangrenous fingers from cheap gold rings.
  2. Uneven pizza topping distribution.
  3. Taking the first sip from a fizzy drink and the bubbles coming out of your nose.
  4. Lighting your last fag at the wrong end.
  5. White wine hangovers.
  6. Waking up early on your day off.
  7. Squeezing out shampoo again instead of conditioner.
  8. Split ends.
  9. Texting someone and it coming up green.
  10. Your sluttiest pants causing major freshly-shaved-bumps-and-burn.
  11. Thrush.
  12. Cheap tequila.
  13. Your computer dying during your best ever, unsaved Theme Hospital.
  14. Over-cooked steak.
  15. Food poisoning from your favourite late-night chip shop.
  16. Moisturiser up your nails.
  17. Chipping a nail.
  18. Breaking a nail.
  19. Losing a nail in a pretty boy’s bed.
  20. Socks rolling down in your boots.
  21. Orange Revels.
  22. Finding the most beautiful pair of shoes ever on sale – in every size but yours.
  23. Curry sauce on your £70 bed sheets.
  24. Realising that Asda sell almost the identical set to your £70 bed sheets. For £20.
  25. Under-cooked rice.
  26. Over-cooked rice.
  27. Cooking rice.
  28. Thrush. Again.
  29. Corporate April Fool’s jokes.
  30. Craving ramen in Cornwall.
  31. Third day new tattoo itch.
  32. Stubbing your little toe.
  33. Leaving your phone at home all day and having no notifications when you get back.
  34. Sneezes than never come.
  35. Pulling a thread on your favourite knit.
  36. Doing the walk of shame with 4% battery.
  37. Missing your knees when you shave and not noticing until you’re wearing ripped jeans.
  38. Dropping your book in the bath.
  39. Lemon in gin and tonic.
  40. Ginger ALE in rum.
  41. That weird bum in face thing cats do.
  42. Chewing gum that’s been in your bag too long and goes soft.
  43. Your iPhone dying at 20%.
  44. Finding Christmas chocolate you forgot about, opening it and it’s done that weird white thing.
  45. Thinking you’ve found a £2 coin and realising it’s a Euro.
  46. Bum spots.
  47. Having to ask somebody to repeat themselves more than twice.
  48. Choking on your own spit.
  49. Only getting 10 likes on Instagram.
  50. Wasps.
  51. Sneezing and losing the snot.
  52. Hang-nails.
  53. The dirty, smelly water in a vase of dead flowers.
  54. Seeing something you spent all your money on hanging on the sale rail.
  55. Buying a full price train ticket and never getting asked for it.
  56. Dirt up your nails.
  57. Read reciepts.
  58. Dust.
  59. Trying to find the end of Sellotape.
  60. Catching your hair in the car door.
  61. Remembering the things you said the night before.
  62. Getting back with your ex.

(Originally posted 01/04/15 on miafantastic.com – the old blog)