If ever people wonder why I lost all my followers, show them this post. Because I guarantee there’s something to annoy everybody.

Equal opportunity offender me.

  1. Gilets.
  2. Kids who climb the wrong way up slides (and the parents who let them).
  3. Freakshakes.
  4. Cake smash photoshoots.
  5. Hard back books.
  6. People who feel the need to make it clear they already knew big news when you announce it ‘congrats again!’ ‘I’m so glad I can finally talk about this now!’ etc etc blah blah blah…
  7. Sunburn on grown ass adults.
  8. People who regularly discuss how much they hate babies then lose their shit over every thing Beyonce posts.
  9. Same as above with Chrissy Teigen.
  10. People who let their dogs ‘kiss’ them.
  11. Dogs in the bed.
  12. Bikinis on babies.
  13. Children as profile pictures.
  14. Ultrasounds as profile pictures.
  15. Memes as profile pictures (pure Brexit).
  16. Those mini sports cars for kids.
  17. People who insult the Kardashians.
  18. Irregular Choice shoes.
  19. People who whisper while babies nap.
  20. Jojo Bows.
  21. Food photos taken with the flash on.
  22. High street stores who pay minimum wage and use sweatshops jumping on the political slogan bandwagon. No, Zara, you’re not feminist.
  23. Viral videos of kids where their parents have got them to say a bunch of adult shit they don’t understand so that 20 something’s who hate children will share them going ‘OMG THIS IS SO ME’ and then I get tagged in them 29 times a week and want to kill.
  24. People who apologise for not having make up on when their face looks like an angel’s arse cheek.
  25. One-up-manship. Experiences are relative, and you look like a tit.
  26. Alexa Chung.
  27. Lip gloss.
  28. People who freak out about ‘how’ to shop in Aldi because they ‘don’t know the brands’.
  29. People who say ‘we’ll have a light lunch as we’re having a big dinner’.
  30. Not having enough custard.
  31. Tea obsession.
  32. Un-crispy bacon.
  33. Any kind of smear on glass or mirrors.
  34. Postmen who knock using the letter box.
  35. And finally, because it will annoy most of you… Christmas trees in November.


images.jpgMe, judging you.