Another royal baby! I for one love it, I’m a big fan of the young royals, it’s bloody lovely.
If you’ve been outside/online/alive for the past 24 hours you will have heard all about the new little prince. You’ll also probably have seen photos of William, Kate and their new bundle on the steps of the Lindo Wing. And you’ll almost certainly have read the opinions.
This post isn’t about the royal family. It’s not about Kate. It’s not about the baby. It’s about the judgemental language being thrown around the internet. And no, not by the Daily Mail.
There’s been a big push on social media recently for ‘real’ women. A phrase that confuses me because I’m pretty sure we’re a little way off having robots and holograms running around amongst us. Therefore I think anybody who is a woman is a real woman (no, it doesn’t require a vagina, there are many different ways to be a woman).
Kate and William faced the world’s media a few hours after giving birth. She had her hair blow-dried, her make up done, and was wearing a nice dress. That’s because she is a royal. It comes with the territory. It’s part of the deal. She’s done it twice before, it shouldn’t come as a shock to anybody. Is it ridiculous? Yes. Should she be allowed at least a day to recover and bond with her baby before having to face hundreds of cameras? Of course. But does doing any of that make her any less real? Don’t be stupid.
It might not be your reality. But it is hers. And she’s not the only woman to leave hospital with a full face of make up. Plenty do.
I packed my make up bag in my hospital bag, because a quick swipe of concealer and mascara does make me feel more human, it helps me feel better in any situation. How many women talk about getting waxed and spray-tanned before labour? Have their eyebrows dyed and eyelash extensions? How is that any different really? We all want to be able to feel a little bit more human and a little bit more us after a really difficult (for some of us traumatic) time.
Instagram is awash with post-baby photos, and I love it! We all have different stories, we were all in different states. I love that it’s opened up a conversation on post-birth, because it’s a time that still isn’t spoken about a lot, seeing everybody’s differing experiences – from the happy to the absolutely broken – is amazing, brave, and beautiful. Each story is important. Each story is real. I was on cloud nine personally, I had a wonderful birth with Fox. I was lucky. I could walk, I could stand up, I felt great. But judging by some of the current conversations happening on my timeline this means I’m not a real mum.
There is constant discussion of how we shouldn’t judge other mums for their choices, women should be allowed to find it tough, should be allowed to look like shit after-birth, we shouldn’t be expected to ‘snap back’. But with all the push for that side it seems to have become acceptable to hate on women on the other side of it. It seems like to be accepted as a mother you have to be a bit of a mess. I’ve said this before but by opening up acceptance of not having to be perfect we’ve gone too far the other way, looking like you’ve got it together (not perfect – because nobody is) is enough for you to be hated, ridiculed, and criticised.
From Kylie Jenner and Kate Middleton to the everyday mum on Facebook mothers are being crucified for their choices in motherhood. I was criticised for sharing my birth story because it went so well, which is ridiculous!
Whether you have a six pack or an overhang, whether you are out for dinner 48 hours later or haul up at home for 4 weeks, whether you felt immediately sky-high or it took you a few days, whether you gave birth vaginally with no drugs or had a c-section. You’re still real. We’re all real.
Until Elon Musk gets his way, then we’ll have to start checking for an on/off switch.
(And if you want a laugh in all this ridiculousness, check out Dawn O’Porter on Instagram, her booby ears comment, and the idiots in her comments. Endless fun!)