Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.



Mother to two Tiny Terrors Ball of anxiety, terrible girlfriend. I have a lot of opinions, they are always right. I swear too much and don't like dogs. Attempting to make sense of motherhood, stay semi-sane, and not completely fall apart.

ErgoPouch – the sleeping bag with legs

I find blog reviews something really difficult to write, I’m not sure my style lends perfectly to QVC style pitches. But when I have been gifted something I do like I want to try and talk about it, it’s only fair right?!

I have only ever sleeping bags on both my kids, they’re both fidgets in their sleep and if I was to try blankets on them as babies I would wake up to tiny little ice pops through the winter. So when ErgoPouch got in touch and wanted to send me one of their Sleep Suit Bags obviously I said yes! (We have this one)

Continue reading “ErgoPouch – the sleeping bag with legs”


The past couple of months I’ve been in a deep depression. My body and mind have felt completely numb and while I’ve spent hours each day crying it’s been out of frustration, not sadness.

Reality is blurred at the best of times when you’re depressed.
I shut myself away and convince myself that’s for the best anyway, because nobody would want to see me or talk to me. I’m a waste of space. But add to that a forum full of strangers discussing you, debating your relationship, discussing your children, questioning your morals… that’s a reality that a depressed brain doesn’t know what to do with. That it can’t let go of.

Continue reading “Fog.”

More Than a Writer’s Block

All I want to do is write.
Writing is my outlet, my medicine, my coping mechanism.
Writing is how I make sense of my own head, understand what’s wrong and what I can change.
But I can’t write at the moment.
I’m too scared to.

Continue reading “More Than a Writer’s Block”

Sleepyhead – a skeptic’s review


You never realise how great it is until you don’t have it.

And as soon as you become a parent you realise you’ll probably never have enough of it again.

Continue reading “Sleepyhead – a skeptic’s review”

Sixteen Million Voices – Mental Health Awareness Week

Today marks the start of Mental Health Awareness Week.

A week I see great importance in, every one of us has mental health, it is not reserved for the people with diagnoses. Everybody needs to find ways to take better care of their own mental health – finding ways to destress, to cope with life experiences that may make them feel anxious or down, and to understand their own mental health.

Today I was supposed to be launching a new part to the blog – Sixteen Million Voices,  unfortunately due to everything that has been going on with Instagram, having to spend more time than I care to admit speaking to PRs to apologise for pulling out of campaigns, and having something of a mental health crisis myself – it just hasn’t happened.

I can only apologise for that.

Continue reading “Sixteen Million Voices – Mental Health Awareness Week”

Just Block Them

‘Just ignore them.’
‘Block and move on.’
‘They’re just jealous’
‘Chin up.’
‘Name and shame the pricks!’
‘One in a thousand isn’t worth getting upset over.’

Just a snippet of the messages I’ve received over the past 24 hours. Yesterday I nearly cried on Instagram stories because I’d again been on the receiving end of a barrage of abuse relating to my parenting ability. This time it was because I posted a photo of Fox on my lap, mid-breakdown, while I was trying to get my work done (that’s already two weeks overdue). I captioned it that I would kill for a nursery drop-off and an office job. This, of course, makes me a shit mum.

Continue reading “Just Block Them”

Royally ‘Real’

Another royal baby! I for one love it, I’m a big fan of the young royals, it’s bloody lovely.

If you’ve been outside/online/alive for the past 24 hours you will have heard all about the new little prince. You’ll also probably have seen photos of William, Kate and their new bundle on the steps of the Lindo Wing. And you’ll almost certainly have read the opinions.

This post isn’t about the royal family. It’s not about Kate. It’s not about the baby. It’s about the judgemental language being thrown around the internet. And no, not by the Daily Mail.

Continue reading “Royally ‘Real’”

A Nonsensical Ramble on #AD.

Hashtag Ad.

Two words that seem to have the power to divide the whole of Instagram.

I’ve been having a bit of a crisis of conscious over the whole thing recently, on one hand I don’t want to push away the very people who have given me this platform – my followers, but on the other hand I spend a lot of time creating content and writing and occasionally a few quid for it would be nice.

Continue reading “A Nonsensical Ramble on #AD.”

Motherhood Misery

There’s always been competition in parenting. I remember when TI was born it was all about who’s babies were hitting the milestones first. Baby Tommy might have crawled first but did you know baby Lucy could already speak three languages by nine months?!

When parenting blogs first started taking off they became the antithesis to this, they served as a big middle finger to the competitive mums. They reminded us that there’s so much more to life than trying to convince the rest of your NCT group that your baby is the best. They all walk eventually, who gives a shit who was first (if you ask me the longer they can’t move, the better)?

Recently the competition seems to have shifted, it’s no longer about who’s baby is best, it’s who’s baby is worse…

Continue reading “Motherhood Misery”

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