Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.



Party for one

Do me a favour, jump up and turn on E4 quickly. There’s some American sitcom on, right? Might be a good one, probably be a bad one; one thing I can guarantee is that it’s based around a group of friends who are completely inseparable. This is the kind of friendship group we have thrust upon us by every TV show and movie. Sex and the City, Friends, Grey’s Anatomy, Entourage even bloody Tracy Beaker; all of them based around a seemingly unbreakable group of friends.
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An Unbalance of Kindness

I answered the phone the second you called,
And never ignored a text.
The moment you needed me, there I was,
You were always my first thought.
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Finding the Words

You thought you’d felt it before. You were so sure of it. You said that’s what it was, you told people, as many people as you possibly could. You felt all those things you’d read in a dog-eared Jane Austen novel and it was the best you’d had, so it had to be it, right? But there was always something wrong, wasn’t there? But it was balanced out. It had to balance out.

Then something happened. Something that changed the way you see everything you’ve ever known. Somebody suddenly made you question everything you’d felt before them.

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Discovering my new Route

What a difference a year makes eh? Especially when that year contains more dramatic turns that a series finale of Grey’s Anatomy. I’ve pretty much been through it all over the past 12 months, I’m not about to bore you with the details here. Those that were there at the time will probably shove their heads in their ovens if they hear about it one more time and those of you who weren’t will live a much longer, happier life not knowing.
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