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Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.

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jewellery

Push Presents

I know as an English woman I’m supposed to reject all traditions rooted in American capitalism. But I happen to be an English woman who loves me a present, so really, any excuse.

The idea of a push present is something I’m majorly on board with. You’ve just watched the woman you love grow your child inside her for over 9 months, probably not very comfortably, then you’ve either seen her push said child out of a very small hole or be sliced in half and had it pulled out. Either way, I’d say girl’s earned a present.

Not to mention your house is about to be filled with gifts and admirers, none of them for her. Having a newborn can be seriously isolating, even when you’re surrounded by people who love you they are often more focussed on the new tiny person and don’t really think to ask about you.

I shouldn’t need to justify this, buy her a damn present! I’ve compiled a list of some things that would definitely have you on the front cover of Good Daddy Weekly.

Continue reading “Push Presents”

Last Minute Mum Gifts

If you’re reading this I’m going to suggest that you probably opened the link with a ‘FUCK! It’s Mother’s Day soon? So soon I’m having to use a last minute gift guide?!’. My answer to you is yes, dumbass. It’s on Sunday.

But worry not my little last minute idiots. I’ve put together a gift guide of things your mum/wife/girlfriend will not only actually want, but you can make sure you get in time. Mothers are awesome and deserve a day of being spoiled, like, really spoiled. Because mothers do so much. So quit slacking and get on it. Got that? Matt?

This list will not include anything Cath Kidston, compilation CDs that include Ellie Golding, baking sets, or flower-shaped egg rings. Because I’m a mum that doesn’t want that shit and I am surrounded by mums who don’t want that shit. Sound like the sort of thing the mums in your life would like alongside the hand-drawn card thrown at their face at 6am on Sunday morning? Perfect, follow me. Continue reading “Last Minute Mum Gifts”

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