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Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.

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pregnancy symptoms

Third Trimester

The final countdown to D-Day. When suddenly everybody wants to know how your nipples are feeling and to give you their tip on how to get labour started (I hate pineapple, and I hate you for suggesting it).

The third trimester is the longest three (possibly longer) months you’ll ever face and everything hurts and who knew you could sweat from there and oh GOD get it out of me!!

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Second Trimester Bliss?

Last week I had the sudden (and slightly terrifying) realisation that I’d officially hit my third trimester. After a few deep breaths, an extra ice lolly, and a panicked few hundred pounds of baby paraphernalia on Matt’s credit card I had calmed myself down.

I have since then also realised that I haven’t really posted a pregnancy update since my first trimester whinge. I’m sure this is devastating to all so here you go! The second trimester, why it’s still a bit shit.

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Child-free and Full of Questions – Pregnancy

When I shared my post about the first trimester I had a lot of women who hadn’t had children messaging me with comments and questions and ‘oh my god is it really that bad?!’s. I realised that I have a lot of readers who aren’t parents, so I decided to start a new mini series of questions they want to know the answers to – the weirder, grosser, and more intrusive – the better!

First up we’re talking pregnancy!

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How to Survive the First Trimester (ish)

There are women out there who will tell you pregnancy is a beautiful time of blooming and happiness and that they loved every minute of it. I am here to tell you that these women are liars. Or even possibly robots. Pregnancy for me is a continuous flow of shitty problems; pain, vomit, fainting, and massive engorged breasts that look nothing like the perfectly pert models with their fake bumps on the ASOS maternity section. It’s shit and I hate it.

However, for most of us it is the simplest way to get our hands on a tiny squishy baby. So it’s something of a necessity.

The first three months were for me – like so many, many others – hell. Sickness, fainting, constipation, anxiety, zero sex drive, agonisingly painful breasts. This post is a combination of little things that might help others find it a bit easier and a chance to moan about it all to garner some sympathy. Which I think are both important and necessary.

(Note: yes, I’m going to moan about pregnancy in this post, because it’s hard. This doesn’t mean I don’t realise how lucky I am to be having a healthy pregnancy. It doesn’t mean I’m not thrilled to be having another baby. We are more than aware just how hashtag blessed we are, this doesn’t stop it being a crappy experience.)

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