Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.



Tweet Cute – a modern romance (vlog)

‘Where did you guys meet?’
‘You mean Tinder?’
‘No…I mean Twitter.’

A conversation I have had more times than I could even begin to count. But yes, we met on Twitter. Unconventional and oh so very 21st century of us, we know. But it’s actually not that rare, as my gorgeous friend Susie discovered when she asked Twitter couples to tell her their stories.

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20 Lessons from Living with a Boy

It’s almost a year since my clean, tidy, pretty, girly flat was destroyed and filled with smelly boy things and a smelly boy. While he didn’t come with many belongings, he has certainly changed my home. Mostly for the better.

So what have I learnt in this year? Glad you asked, and luckily for you I’ve written a handy list.

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Our Unhealthy Obsessions

I, like most of us, have a crazy, psychotic obsession with Scandal. Who doesn’t? Weirdos and people in prison that’s who. There is, however, one part of the show that makes my toes curl, my stomach feel heavy, and a huge wave of uncomfort to pass over me – Fitz and Olivia’s relationship. It’s everything a relationship shouldn’t be.
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Living With A Boy

Living with a boy.
What an achievement! It means you’ve actually convinced somebody that you’re sane, fun, and clean enough to want to share a bathroom with.
It also means having to give up your spare sock drawer, share your secret supply of biscuits, and consider moving your rabbit out of the drawer on their side of the bed.
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Going The Distance

‘Long distance never works!’
We’ve all heard it, said it and thought it. I know this time last year I couldn’t have agreed more, I had 100% sworn off ever dating outside of my postcode again – then I met my boyfriend and the bastard completely screwed that up!
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The Friends You Find as a Mum

When you have a child, especially if you do it young (what up team teen pregnancy!), you learn a lot about friendships. You learn that a lot of people you considered great friends aren’t so much down for nappy talk run for the hills (vineyards) with never a look back. You also learn a lot about people who are there for you and just how much that means.
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An Unbalance of Kindness

I answered the phone the second you called,
And never ignored a text.
The moment you needed me, there I was,
You were always my first thought.
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70 Things Worse than Heartbreak

  1. Standing on an upturned plug.
  2. Crumbs in the bed.
  3. Going to eat the second half of your Twix and realising you already have.
  4. Dropping the handle of your cutlery in your food.
  5. Accidental Insta-stalk liking.
  6. Settling in for a Netflix marathon and only having one episode left.
  7. Having flat hair in every photo from a night out.
  8. Kale.

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Muscle Memory

People always talk about muscle memory. It’s how you remember how to ride a bike, or drive the same route home every night without really paying attention.

But what about your brain?

Every now and then a certain date comes around and you feel like utter shit. There’s no reason for it, everything is fucking wonderful and yet you just. can’t. shake. that. feeling.
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