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Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.

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My 2016

2016 has been a year that I don’t think anybody could put into words. Especially not somebody as under-qualified as me. It’s strange looking back at a year like this now we’re nearing the end, we’ve lost so many legends and watched the world we all thought was only getting better fall down the toilet, and globally it’s hard to be hopeful for 2017 when we’re only seeing the beginning. Brexit, Trump, Russia, Syria; I think we all know the proverbial shit is yet to really hit the fan. So y’know…something to look forward to.

Personally however I hope we all have a little more faith, and that we can look back at 2016 with at least a little positivity? I know I can.

12 months, many, many memories that will last a lifetime, and about 5 million photos taken. So instead of warbling on I’ve created a compilation of the best moments of my 2016, some photographed, some not, all completely bloody amazing! (I will not mention Brexit again, I will not mention Brexit again…)

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Tweet Cute – a modern romance (vlog)

‘Where did you guys meet?’
‘Twitter.’
‘You mean Tinder?’
‘No…I mean Twitter.’

A conversation I have had more times than I could even begin to count. But yes, we met on Twitter. Unconventional and oh so very 21st century of us, we know. But it’s actually not that rare, as my gorgeous friend Susie discovered when she asked Twitter couples to tell her their stories.

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20 Lessons from Living with a Boy

It’s almost a year since my clean, tidy, pretty, girly flat was destroyed and filled with smelly boy things and a smelly boy. While he didn’t come with many belongings, he has certainly changed my home. Mostly for the better.

So what have I learnt in this year? Glad you asked, and luckily for you I’ve written a handy list.

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Just Be There

Learning somebody you love has been struggling with their mental health so much that they needed to go on medication is hard. You can feel useless and to blame and question why you’re not enough to keep them off little white pills.

The thing is, right now, this isn’t about you. Right now they need your support. Right now hearing long, emotional speeches about how difficult this is for you is only playing into every single negative thing they’re already thinking about themselves.

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You Plus Two

There have been some pretty big changes in my life over the past few months; I found a new nail salon, I realised I can’t drink gin anymore, oh and this guy kinda quit his rockstar lifestyle in London to move to Cornwall and live with me and my idiot child.

Obviously moving in with a partner is always going to involve some big changes, for me I had to learn to sleep on one side of the bed and occasionally wash up midweek. But for Matt, he not only had to put up with my insane demands, he also had to learn to cope with a tiny diva.

We’re not alone in this situation, but it’s also not one that I often see written about. So we had a quick chat (online, we’re in our twenties, we don’t talk in person) about how it feels to suddenly find yourself +2.

Before reading further I think it’s important to know that Matt wanted me to title this post ‘I Threw My Child At My Boyfriend And This Is What He Thinks About It’…
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Our Unhealthy Obsessions

I, like most of us, have a crazy, psychotic obsession with Scandal. Who doesn’t? Weirdos and people in prison that’s who. There is, however, one part of the show that makes my toes curl, my stomach feel heavy, and a huge wave of uncomfort to pass over me – Fitz and Olivia’s relationship. It’s everything a relationship shouldn’t be.
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Living With A Boy

Living with a boy.
What an achievement! It means you’ve actually convinced somebody that you’re sane, fun, and clean enough to want to share a bathroom with.
It also means having to give up your spare sock drawer, share your secret supply of biscuits, and consider moving your rabbit out of the drawer on their side of the bed.
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2015

I didn’t know whether to do this post or not, or really where I wanted to go with it. But I do know that the year just passed has held the most changes, the most hardships, and the most wonderful moments of any I can remember (except maybe when I was eight and Geri left the Spice Girls just after I got her bloody doll).
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Party for one

Do me a favour, jump up and turn on E4 quickly. There’s some American sitcom on, right? Might be a good one, probably be a bad one; one thing I can guarantee is that it’s based around a group of friends who are completely inseparable. This is the kind of friendship group we have thrust upon us by every TV show and movie. Sex and the City, Friends, Grey’s Anatomy, Entourage even bloody Tracy Beaker; all of them based around a seemingly unbreakable group of friends.
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