Cigarettes and Calpol

Attempting to make sense of parenthood, life, love, and my own mind.



Positively Average

I was never the captain of a sport’s team. I was never top of the class. I was never the popular girl. I’ve never been the best at anything, I’ve always been alright, middle-level, average. It’s something that only bothers me sometimes; when looking at Instagrams that define #SquadGoals or that time I didn’t get the lead in the year six Christmas play (that I still know the lines for). Being average generally means being left behind and feeling a little bit forgotten.

It’s not the memory of this happening to me that bothers me though, it’s the fact that I can already see these attitudes being reflected on my Tiny Idiot.

Continue reading “Positively Average”

Too Small for School?

First day of school.
Daunting, emotional, painful, heart-wrenching, guilt-inducing, exciting, really bloody difficult.

No matter how much people love to mock it, the day your little one first ventures into Big School is hard on children and parents alike. I remember how I felt when I went through it last year and this week thousands of people across the country have had to go through the same pain of letting go of their hand.

The pain, guilt, and trepidation that parents across the country have felt this week are why the latest Clarks campaign has me raging.

Continue reading “Too Small for School?”


Today I had to let go of your hand.
I’ve done it a thousand times before, but this time it was different.
We’ve spent days and nights and weeks apart. We’re good at it. But this time it was different.
Because although you’ve been away from me before for nursery, for pre-school, for weekends with your dad and weeks with your nanny, it’s different.
Continue reading “Today.”

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